Mikuo and Luki
by KFG24
Summary: Never was there a tale of more woe, than that of Luki and his Mikuo. Cowritten by witchjuliana12.
1. Chapter 1

**KFG24:** Hallo peoples. It's been a while since I last posted anything, huh? Yeah... Lots of updates in June my ass... I'm so sorry!!! TT,TT

Anyways... This is a collaboration between witchjuliana12 and myself. So please enjoy it and all of it's stupidity. ^_^

**DISCLAIMER:** KFG24 and witchjuliana12 don't own Vocaloids or the famous Shakespearean play that they have so hideously butchered.

* * *

Like every bad fairytale, this one starts with two warring houses both alike in dignity, a vaguely ominous prologue, and an audience consisting of five or so people who're tired of hearing the same story over and over again.

Two servants belonging to the Megurine house were prancing along one day, gossiping about their rivals, the house of Hatsune. "If I see any of their women, I'll thrust them to the wall and take their heads." Makaito proclaimed.

"The heads of the maids?"

The demon shrugged. "The heads of the maids or their maiden heads. Take it in what sense thou wilt."

Akaito stared at him before saying, "Dude. Rape isn't cool."

"B-but!" The demon version of Kaito gestured to the script.

The red head shook his head. "Go... Just go. I can't even look at you right now."

The demon sulked off and was replaced by Kikaito. Nobody really noticed the difference though since they're both Kaito. And really, does anyone like Kaito? I didn't think so.

And so Akaito and Kikaito skipped along until they saw two servants from the Hatsune house.

The servents being a gray haired maid followed by a yellow haired girl with her hair tied to the side. They were loaded down with baskets and baskets of leeks which let off an awful smell.

"Hey, its two maids from the Hatsune family!" cried Akaito.

"How do you know this?" replied his brother.

"They have leeks," replied the red one.

But alas before they could anything to the maids of the Hatsune family, the gray haired girl began to sniffle pitifully, was it from the scent of the god awful leeks, or for the fact she was known to cry a lot, the world will never know.

"Why do they keep staring at us and whispering?" she said in a frightful voice.

Her yellow haired friend never replied. Instead she yelled at the two Kaito-like characters and cursed in a somewhat mild way.

"Hey you idiots!" she screamed, "What the hell do you want?! What are you, perverts?! Stop staring at us like that, bitches!"

Taken back by this tsundere character's outburst, they slowly tried to back away from the yellow haired girl. The keyword here is 'tried', for they didn't make it out in time. All you could hear was the terrified screams, the pained shouts, and the beggings and pleadings of two males. Their bodies were never found and all the investigators could find was an empty basket that smelled like leeks.

Kaito showed up way to late to be of any help to his brothers waving around a popsicle and drunkenly telling people to lay down their swords.

Meiko then stumbled out of the bar and stared at him for a while. From her blurred point of view, that popsicle looked like a sword. So she drew her own blade and meandered her way towards him.

"Wash thish Kaito~? Drawn an' shpeeking of peash? I hate the word as I hate hell~... All Me-Megurinesh... An' vee~..."

Without any further, hard to understand dialogue, the brunette rushed at the peace loving idiot in the long coat who is ~not~ Vash the Stampede(OMG I loooove Trigun!!1 Knives is soooo hott!1!!).

The blue haired man turned just in time to see the drunk and screamed like a little girl before hiding behind Dell Honne.

Meiko accidentally killed Dell because he's always the first to die in fanfics. She removed her sword from his unmoving body and ran after the ice cream lover.

Juliana then broke through the fourth wall and grabbed Dell who had actually only died a little. Insert dramatic scene here.

Meanwhile, Meiko was bludgeoning Kaito with a sock full of nickles.

Suddenly, Prince Gakupo rode in on his magnificent steed. He jumped off the large eggplant and declared, "Like okay, if the Megurines and the Hatsunes continue to like, disturb our peaceful streets, I will like, totally have Miku and Luka like, killed. By ninjas."

"I _am_ a ninja!" Luka screamed despite being off screen.

As Gakupo went along the country, yelling out in his prissy voice about the decree, Mikuo of the Hatsune family went out riding on a little pony. He was out looking for the missing maids that his mother had sent out to buy leeks. And sadly, he got lost after entering the market. The boy sat down in his flowing robe of blue-green and cried his eyes out.

"Oh woe is me!" he cried, " Where will I ever find a handsome young man with pink hair to come help me?"

And as soon as he said that, a young man in pink hair came out of the crowd with a puzzled look on his face. He was dressed in a smart looking outfit and had short pink hair. When he looked at the man in blue(or is it green? or teal? or cyan?), he smiled and said, "What's wrong young man?"

"Uhh," Mikuo took a look down into his script, "I'm lost? Or is it lose?"

The man in pink shook his head and helped the poor, senseless boy up to his feet. "Do you need help back to your home?" he asked politely.

"Uh," the boy was staring straight into his eyes," I think I love you," he murmured quietly.

"No!" screamed Juliana, " Look at your script! You don't confess yet you idiot!"

"Oops!" he said, looking down at his script then back into Luk- I mean the man's eyes, "Yes!" he said, " I do need help to get back home!"


	2. Chapter 2

**KFG24**: Juliana wrote almost all of this chapter... But I did all the editting. And yeah... Here's chapter two!

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The duo made it somewhat safely to Mikuo's house, if you don't add the fact that Mikuo found the missing maids, and that the blonde was still pretty pissed, and that they managed to get out of her way just in time, then, yes they did make it safely to the Hatsune residence.

Luckily, the pretty blue/green haired boy's mother was not there, or else she would of kicked the pink hair boy out. Literally. Or she would of ended his life very painfully, and that would bring the end of _Mikuo and Luki_. But we don't want that to happen, do we? His mother was out chasing after two other blondes that seemed to be a little bit alike in every way. But that's not important now is it? So as they continued through the strangely deserted household until they reached Mikuo's room where a note was attached to the door.

It read:

_Dear Mikuo,_

_Be a good boy while mommy goes to punish the twins for using the roadroller to crush the leeks again. And make sure you tell the maids to plant the leeks into the ground. And don't forget that if you happen to see the twins come your way, GET OUT OF THE WAY BECAUSE I WILL PERSONALLY DEAL WITH THEM MYSELF. _

_Remember! Pink is the enemy!_

_Love, Mommy_

"Ne~," said Mikuo in his cute voice that reminded one of a gay surfer, "What color is pink?"

"Erm..." replied the pink haired boy, "It's that color!" He pointed to a gray statue that was in front of Mikuo's room.

"Oh really? I never knew that!" He was about to walk into his room when he noticed Dell walking down the hall, revived after being stabbed by Meiko.

"Hey you!" He yelled to Dell. Dell gave him at him with a confused yet annoyed look.

"What?" he answered.

"Come here!" Dell went semi-obediently to his master. Mikuo took a sword out from behind the statue and stabbed Dell. Dell fell to the ground in a puddle of blood, yet again. Luki looked nervously at Mikuo and back down at the now dead Dell.

"Come in!" Mikuo said, "This is my room!" He gestured inside and the pink haired boy went inside nervously. When the shut, Juliana yet again broke through the forth wall and held her dear Dell-kun close to her. KFG24 sighed and opened the door next to her grieving friend.

Two half naked Kagamines fell out. They paid no mind to the two authors or the dead Honne and continued making out.

Back with the lovers... I mean, Mikuo and that dude with pink hair! Umm.. Yeah...

Mikuo frowned. "Y'know, it's really annoying, hearing you reffered to as 'the dude with pink hair'... Especially since your hair isn't pink!" Luki looked away from his gre- blu- aqua haired love interest nervously. "What's your name, Luki?"

Luki stared at his future lover in shock. _'Dot dot dot.' _He thought. He wanted to ask if the younger boy was really that stupid, but then he realized something... Beauty and no brains? Mikuo was totally his type! Instantly the man fell in love.

"My name is... Luke..."

The boy with te- baby puke gre- cyan colored hair grinned. "Nice to meet you Luke! I'm so glad your name isn't something stupid like Luki!!!"

As they jibbered on, Mikuo let loose that he was supposed to plan out a ball for the annual "Leek Day" celebration.

"I'm sure that you dont know about this," he said as he saw the look of confusion on Luki, I mean Luke's face. "Leek Day is only celebrated in the Hatusune family. It has been like this for many generations. The only ones who know about it are those who love leeks."

Luki, amazed by the fact that this boy was actually smart felt a bit disappointed. So much for all beauty and no brains. That is, until he noticed that Mikuo had a recorder in his hand that seemed to playing what seemed to be Mikuo's voice.

"Mother always said I could never get things straight. Thats why I gots this recorder to record all the speeches and infomation I need to know." Mikuo held it up closely to his eye. It was gray and squared looking.

"Its pink!" he screamed in fury. Immediately he grabbed his sword and stabbed it over and over. Luki was glad he told Mikuo that gray was pink.

After he destroyed the recorder, he went to his closet where hundreds more recorders were hiding. The next to hours were spent destroying those poor, poor recorders.

As soon as all the recorders were destroyed, Mikuo resumed to explaining to Luki about the ball, as if nothing had happened.

"So, you see, every year there is the ball, and I'm the one who has to do all the preparing. This is the menu for the ball," he showed Luki and sheet that consisted of leek dishes.

"Leek...pudding?" Luki said in disgust.

"Yup! Its the best pudding in the whole kingdom!" Mikuo cried out in glee.

Luki went through the list for the party. It was supposed to have leek decorations, leek-liked tables and chairs, leek dishes, and leek everything. Luki shivered. What kind of ball was this? There was no sign of salmon or octopus anywhere! Let alone delicious tuna! He definatly was NOT going to attend this party.

"You are going to come, right?" Mikuo asked with hopeful eyes.

"I... Erm.."

"Please? Pretty please?"

"Uh..."

"With a leek on top?"

No.

"...Yes."

"Yay!" Mikuo jumped up in glee, "Come on! Lets go outside!" Mikuo dragged Luki out by his hand and left his room. Immediately, they heard a sobbing coming from the hall.

"Dell!" cried a voice. They headed towards the voice and found a gray haired women bowed over the man that Mikuo had recently killed. Next to her was the yellow haired girl who nearly killed them earlier.

"You!" the blond pointed a finger at Mikuo, "What did you do to Dell?!"

"I killed him. He had pink hair," Mikuo sad bluntly. Luki did a facepalm. Mikuo pointed to the sobbing woman. "She has pink hair too..."

The blond was furious. "How DARE you kill my best friend's brother!?" she screeched. Mikuo drew his sword. The blond took out two leeks. Soon, the two were going all out on each other and sadly, the blond was winning. She took a swing at Mikuo's arm and made him drop his sword. It fell and the blond kicked it across the room. Mikou turned to see his sword out of reached. He gulped.

"You are _so_ fucked now!" screamed the blond. She smacked him hard on the head with the leeks.

"This is for killing my best friend's brother!"

SMACK.

"This is for mistaking him for having pink hair!"

SMACK.

"This for mistaking her for having pink hair!"

SMACK.

"This is for pissing me off!"

SMACK.

By the time she finished getting her revenge, Mikuo was left with a bloody head and a lot of bruises. The blond then dragged her friend away, who was carrying her brothers body.

"Lets take him to the near by witch. She'll be sure to revive him! After all, she does seem to love him. And Len." the blond comforted her friend. The woman nodded her head and followed the blond.

Inspecting the body carefully, the blond noticed that there were fingerprints on Dell. Obviously, someone with extremely dirty hands had been handling the workaholic.

"Huh," she said, "Looks like the witch got here before us. I bet one of her friends forced her to leave Dell here. We better take him to her house soon, before Lady Meiko tries to kill her... I heard Meiko muttering that the witch didn't give her any sake yet..."

"But Meiko was drunk earlier!" cried the grayed haired one.

The tsundere girl shuddered. "Meiko does have her ways..."

The duo walked off with the body in their arms, discussing how Meiko could of had access to other bottles of sake when she was supplied daily by the near by witch.

As they walked off, Luki approached Mikuo with caution.

"Are you... Uh... Alright?" He asked nervously.

"Take me to the near by witch." Mikuo gasped.

The pink haired man frowned. "But they just said that they were going to the nearby witch themselves!" cried Luki.

"That doesn't matter! The witch is a good friend of mine and she'll heal with reviveing the pink haired one." And so off they went to the journey of the nearby witch's house. They arrived just before Neru, I mean the blond, her friend, and the corpse. When they reached her house, they heard bangs and screams of pain. Nervously, they opened the door to see Meiko on top of the poor witch who looked ready to welcome death.

"Well?" Meiko hissed,"Where is my sake?" she pulled on the witch's hair.

"I told you! It's in the cupboards!" she screamed. The witch was a girl with long black hair - perfect for pulling on. Meiko pulled on her hair even harder.

"Liar!" yelled Meiko. The witch finally giving up on being reasonable, took out her wand and teleported Meiko somewhere else. The witch got up and dusted herself off. She put the tip of her wand to her wounds and began to heal herself.

"Hello," she said without looking up, "what do you need?"

"Well," Mikuo started, "I would like you to heal my wounds!" The witch looked up in surprise, and anger.

"You!" she screeched, pointing her wand at Mikuo's chest," I know that gay surfer's voice anywhere! What the hell are you doing here!?" Luki jumped back in fear while Mikuo stood his ground.

"Aww!" Mikuo said," It's good to see you too!"

"Get the hell out of my house!" she screamed and shot a ray of light out the tip of her wand, sending Mikuo flying out her house.

"I'll see you at the baaaaaaaaaaallllll!" he yelled as he was sent flying out of her house.

She turned to Luki. "Didn't see you there. Who are you?" she asked calmly as she put her wand back into her black cloak.

"I'm er, Luki" he repied, relieved that she didn't turn the wand on him.

"What are you doing here?"

"I was helping Mikuo go up here," he looked out her window, seeing a sprawled Mikuo at the bottom of the hill the witch lived on. He saw the blond racing over to Mikuo and begin to kick him. He noticed the witch was watching with a smug look on her face.

"Is he going to be fine?" he asked as the blond pulled him over to the forest near the hill. After a while, the blond came back and continued the journey up the hill with the gray haired lady.

"Don't worry about him," she said in a reassuring voice, "He's been through worse."

"Well then," he said, turning from the window," can I have something for his wounds?"

"I can see that Neru-chan did a mighty fine number on him, I guess I can give him a potion to heal his wounds..." She went to some cupboards and began to browse through them. Luki noticed that one of the cupboards was filled with sake. The witch reappeared with a bottle filled with a blue substance.

"Here, give this to him to drink and his wounds will be healed,"

"Thank you miss," He said while putting the bottle in his pocket.

"Now if you excuse me, I need to revive someone dear to me." she said as she hurried down the hill. Luki followed, only he headed down to the forest. He, of course, had to find Mikuo and give him the potion. Luki went at a slow pace, showing no need to rush.

He had, as the witch said, been through worse.


	3. Chapter 3

"Ne~," Mikuo started as his sat backwards in his chair, "did Harlee and Juliana forget about us?"

The other titular character, who was sitting correctly in his own chair, shrugged. "Who knows? It's not like either one has been putting out chapter after chapter of anything else since they stopped working on our story, so they could just be suffering from writer's block."

The younger boy pouted. "But I want an update _now_~!"

"And I want my screen time! But we can't all get what we want, can we?" Luka muttered bitterly as she braided Gakupo's long hair. Miku nodded in agreement and flipped through her script.

"I'd like to stop dying in every chapter." Dell grumbled.

Akita Neru snorted. "Like that'll happen! You'll keep dying over and over until this fic is over!" As the others voiced their agreement about this, Dell groaned and laid his head down on the table.

Suddenly, the Kagamine twins entered. The two blondes looked very tired and annoyed.

Luki was the one who broke the silence and asked. "Are you two alright?" At once the twins began complaining about how over used they were and how boring forbidden love could become after the one hundred and fiftieth story about it.

"It's like people only use us because they know people will read their crap just because, 'OMG! The Kagamines are in it! Twincest!' Especially when they could've used anyone else for the roles they give us!"

"And _Spice_! They keep writing _Spice_ over and over again! Damnit Len, you just had to sing that song, didn't you? Just _had _to prove you're not a shouta. Do you see now what chaos your selfish actions have caused? Hindsight's a bitch, ain't it?"

Taito glared at Luki with his one uncovered eye as Len began yelling back at Rin until she hit him in the jaw and the Kagamines ended up on the floor trying to kill each other. "You just had to get them started, didn't you?"

The pink haired man sweatdropped and laughed nervously. "Oops."

Then Kaito ran in literally dragging a hungover Meiko in behind him. "Oh em gee ! Places everyone! The third chapter's starting now!"

"No way!" The other Vocaloids gasped in unison. So they _hadn't _been forgotten!

Akita roused the sleeping Haku and told her it was time to get ready for the new chapter. The Voyacaloid nodded tiredly and followed the blonde out of the lounge where the whole cast hung out until the next chapter was written.

Continuing from where we left off like, forever ago...

Despite his slow pace, Luki soon found his lime gre- periw- na- negi haired boyfriend lying in a field of flowers. He was surrounded by various cutesy animals that seemed to have come straight out of a Disney movie. The blue eyed man poured some of the blue Kool-Aid from the bottle given to him by the witch into Mikuo's mouth.

Mikuo awoke immediately. "Oh yeah!" He exclaimed with a grin. Then he sneezed violently.

"Fucking sellout!" KFG24 screamed from her director's chair.

"Umm... Am I ever going to be in this fanfiction Harlee-san?" Kiyoteru asked.

The currently pink haired girl snickered. "Do you really want to be? You'll be very OOC and constantly abused, y'know." The teacher thought about that and decided that he didn't want to be involved in the parody fic after all. "Thought so. Anyways... Uncut!"

"You never said 'cut' before!" Mikuo exclaimed in between sneezes. "What kind of flowers are these?"

Luki examined one of the flowers the boy lay on. "Looks like they're posies."

"Posies? I'm allergic to posies and all other flowers that aren't leeks!" The sneezing boy ran off stage. Luki watched him run off and looked over at KFG24 who was playing with her GameBoy.

"Hahah! Not so fucking tough now, are ya Browly?" The girl looked up long enough to tell Luki to take a break and then called for a scene change before returning to her game.

"We are NEVER going to get this finished at this rate!" yelled a black-haired girl appearing behind Harlee. She was balancing a laptop in one hand, and a textbook on the other.

"Well, we should have picked characters who were not allergic to flowers!" The black-haired girl threw her textbook at the teacher who was still sulking around the stage. She smirked as the textbook met its target –the teacher's head. She watched as he groaned in pain on the floor.

"Then, we should use the fake, not eco-friendly flowers then! If he can't handle real flowers, then we'll have to use the fake ones!" The pink-haired girl shook her head.

"That's waaaay out of the budget. We stole these flowers from that florist remember?"

The black-haired girl shrugged.

"She only had poppies. Go figure."

The pink-haired loli sighed and returned to her game.

"I was there. Anyway, go make yourself useful and fetch some fake flowers. While you're at it, drag Mikuo back here so that we can continue the film- I mean, chapter. Heheh, yeah chapter!" she laughed nervously. The black-haired wit- girl huffed. And puffed. And burned all the posies away!

"Hahaha! Take that you stupid posies!" she laughed her "Wicked Witch of the West" laugh and ra- flew off to find Mikuo and those fake, non-eco friendly flowers as fast as she could. She came back three days later covered in dirt and twigs, carrying a wagon full of fake flowers and a tied up Mikuo screaming "Bloody murder!" over and over again.

"Shut up you stupid, no good piece of crap!" she screamed at him. The negi-loving boy whimpered in shock and kept his mouth firmly shut.

"Where were you?" cried the now green-haired KFG, "I thought you died!" The black-haired girl snorted.

"Almost did because of this little baby!" She dropped him painfully on the ground.

"He climbed up in a tree and refused to get down! When I did get him down, he ran into a swamp and got himself stuck in some quicksand! Then when I got him out of that mess, he somehow managed to get his way into Hetalia and fooled Italy into thinking that pasta grew on trees, and that Germany was made out of it! After I sorted out that stupid mess, he ran around screaming, "Down with Harlee and Juliana! Down with them both!"! You were soo lucky that I didn't kill him yet!" She kicked him in the groin. Hard. Harlee just shook her head.

"Tough luck. Anyway, let's get back to the story! We had enough fillers, and I just got the props ready for the ball! Want to start all over again?" Juliana sighed.

"Might as well," she cupped her hands around her mouth, "Everyone, places! We're going to do this all over again, and we're going to do this right! So places places!"

And thus the story actually, truly began.

Despite his slow pace, Luki soon found his lime blu- gre- sea- negi haired boyfriend lying in a field of flowers. He was surrounded by various cutesy animals that seemed to have come straight out of a Disney movie. The blue eyed man poured some of the blue Kool-Aid from the bottle given to him by the witch into Mikuo's mouth.

Mikuo awoke immediately. "Oh yeah!" He exclaimed with a grin, "I have to get the ball ready this year!" He jumped up and smacked his head against his soon-to-be-lover. Wait, did you really need to know that spoiler? No you didn't. So just scratch that out of your mind. Erase it. Beat it out of there. Use some bleach for the mind. Just forget about it okay? Anyway, both of the males were rubbing their foreheads simultaneously, when the trans- bi- ga- blue-green haired boy decided to propose. Propose that they go home, that is.

The pink haired boy agreed. "Yeah, let's go back before anything else happens to stall the plot."

The other boy gasped. "There's a plot?"

And then the chapter ended.

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**KFG24:** Oh man! Writing those last three lines was torture! It took me a couple of months to write them!


End file.
